Is it just me, or is Freddy Prinze Jr.’s career buried next to Jimmy Hoffa? If today’s avalanche of new accessories doesn’t inspire another Scooby-Doo movie, I may have to get this Prinze4Eva tattoo lasered off.
Hella Optilux 1450 Fog Lights—These smallish fog lights from Hella lights were originally designed 42 years before Columbus sailed the ocean blue, but they were deemed heretical and locked away in the Pontiff’s chifforobe until now.
Hella Optilux 2020 Combo Fog and Driving Lights—You couldn’t even decide on which absurd TGIF cocktail to order last night, but you expect to decide between getting fog lights or driving lights? Son, just get these two-in-one lamps from Hella Automotive Lights and stop your hem-hawing.
Hella Optilux 1200 Series Fog Lights—Feature: They’re oblong fog lights, dude. Benefit: Use ’em the next time you’re driving through Colorado in a snow storm after finishing your novel, and maybe you won’t go off the road and end up trapped in a sledgehammer-wielding kook’s basement, you dirty bird, you.
Hella Black Magic Lights—Although perfectly titled to spotlight your next voodoo ceremony, these Hella driving lights summon black optics—not malicious powers.
Hella Micro FF Fun Cube Driving & Fog—Just imagine how much faster Mario could navigate through the streets of Dark Land with these automotive lights blinding the Koopa Troopas.
Hella Optilux 1300 Driving Lights—They’re round, they make light, they’re affordable, they’re driving lights.
Hella Optilux 1400 Driving Lights—They’re rectangular, they make light, they’re affordable, they’re driving lights.
TruXedo TonneauMate—Mate a golden retriever with a poodle, you get a golden doodle. Mate a pickup tonneau cover with a truck tool box, you get this deluxe tonneau accessory from TruXedo. Dr. Moreau would be proud.
Escort RedLine Radar Detector—If the M*A*S*H unit had one of these detectors from Escort Radar, they would have detected Radar O’Reilly before he delivered the news of Colonel Blake’s copter crash, sparing us all the sadness.
ARB Safari Snorkel—Not to be confused with a beautiful Hawaiian excursion, these safari snorkels from ARB are just what your off-roader needs to breathe underwater.
ARB Rear Bumper—Where else can you transform your whole backside for under a grand? These rear bumpers from ARB do to your dune-surfer what Billy Blanks does to your rump.
ARB Deluxe Bull Bars—Not just any run-of-the-mill truck bull bars; these ARB bars are Deluxe with a capital “D.”
ARB Sahara Bull Bars—Never venture into the Sahara without your Sahara, and possibly a girl named Sarah. These boss bars from ARB 4X4 are both a bumper and center center grille guard combined.
FANMATS NHL Cargo Mats—These logo cargo liners from FANMATS are perfect for keeping your soiled hockey gear from ruining your ride’s carpeting.
FANMATS NFL Cargo Mats—Same as above, but replace “hockey gear” with “football gear.”
FANMATS NBA Cargo Mats—Same as above, but replace “football gear” with “basketball gear.”
FANMATS MLB Cargo Mats—Same as above, but replace “basketball gear” with “baseball gear.”
FANMATS College Cargo Mats—These cargo & trunk liners are the perfect buffer between your Natty Ice keg and your ride’s carpeting.