We wanted to share a few reviews with you from some of our happy Weathertech floor mats customers. Here’s what they’re saying:
We wanted to share a few reviews with you from some of our happy Weathertech floor mats customers. Here’s what they’re saying:
The holiday shopping season is heating up like a hung-over mall Santa stuffed in a red polyester suit. If you’re not in the mood to wade through endless lines, battle blockaded parking lots, or endure the stench of commerce, head to AutoAnything instead. Our digital shelves are always stocked with gifts your brood will appreciate, including these nine new accessories:
PortablePET Twistep Dog Hitch Step—Calm down, people. No complicated footwork need be learned to use the Twistep hitch-mounted dog ramp from PortablePET. It simply swings away from your bumper, giving your pooch a boost up—not embarrassing you like that Crip Walk incident.
Putco Nova LED Bulbs—With 3x the candlepower of the lesser Putco 360 LED Lights, these suckers are almost as bright as the lights you saw right before those aliens slurped you into their intergalactic cruiser for a probing.
Griots Garage Exterior Car Care Kit—9 out of 10 ADHDers standing next to a sudsy bucket agree: these complete detailing kits from Griots Garage are totally packed with everything you need to…is that a cat? Hey, cat. Yeah, you there. Scat. Tsss tsss tsss. Wait, what were you asking again?
GarageMate UtiliStep—Your insurance company will likely drop your coverage if you fall off your swivel chair one more time, so step up on this sturdy step from GarageMate the next time you’re rooting around in your rafters for that box of model rocket gear.
GarageMate SupplyBin—No one can nag about your obsessive need to collect bungee cords from the side of the road if you stuff them into this wall-mounted garage organizer instead of laying them out on the kitchen table like a proud cat displaying her prey.
It may not be a new pony, but a new accessory announcement is better than a new disease (except maybe that Phenomenon disease that lets you learn Portuguese overnight).
Superwinch EPi 9.0S Winch—This winch is a full 33 lbs lighter than the Superwinch EPi 9.0—if you ask me, that kind of weight control isn’t from a fast metabolism but the occasional hook down the hawse fairlead, if you know what I mean. *Wink.
We also added two (2!) new departments chock-full of great gear. Sport logo gear is the new hot spot to find… well…logo sports gear. There’s also a handy new tools and tool storage department for all your wrenching needs. The tool selection is a little sparse right now, but we should have some great additions in the next few months. Keep your eyes peeled.
On a side note, the phone fairy stopped by AutoAnything’s office last night and left us all Avaya treats. What I can’t get over, though, is how similar the ringer sounds to the jingle the toilets at Tokyo’s Narita Airport play after you’ve made an honorable deposit. Skeevey.
Oh yeah, we also added some new accessories to our digital shelves. Dig these:
Superwinch EP 9.0 Winch—This Superwinch winch boasts 9,000 lbs of line pull, perfect for recovering from a mud hole, but you’ll need a patient shrink to recover from the news that Nazareth isn’t including your city on their 2010 Love Still Hurts tour.
Superwinch EP 12.5 Winch—The perfect winch for rescuing your rig or pulling out the load-bearing supports on that granny flat your neighbor built too close to your property line. Damn you, McGillicuddy!
Kurgo Combo Package—Kurgo Dog On the Go survival kit contents check. In it you’ll find: one bright orange and black Quantum Leash, one Tru-Fit Smart Harness with padded chest plate, one nylon webbed Wander Collar…shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Dallas with all that stuff.
Kurgo Co-Pilot Dog Seat Cover—Dog may be your co-pilot, but it’s not going to stop her frothy lather of slobber from raining down all over your seat. These seat covers for dogs from Kurgo can help protect you from resenting your dog vs. cat decision.
Softride Ski Rack Attachment—It converts your Softride bike rack into a ski & snowboard rack when you want to convince your coworkers that you do more on the weekends than simply curl up fetal and weep.
Is it just me, or is Freddy Prinze Jr.’s career buried next to Jimmy Hoffa? If today’s avalanche of new accessories doesn’t inspire another Scooby-Doo movie, I may have to get this Prinze4Eva tattoo lasered off.
Hella Optilux 1450 Fog Lights—These smallish fog lights from Hella lights were originally designed 42 years before Columbus sailed the ocean blue, but they were deemed heretical and locked away in the Pontiff’s chifforobe until now.
Hella Optilux 2020 Combo Fog and Driving Lights—You couldn’t even decide on which absurd TGIF cocktail to order last night, but you expect to decide between getting fog lights or driving lights? Son, just get these two-in-one lamps from Hella Automotive Lights and stop your hem-hawing.
Hella Optilux 1200 Series Fog Lights—Feature: They’re oblong fog lights, dude. Benefit: Use ’em the next time you’re driving through Colorado in a snow storm after finishing your novel, and maybe you won’t go off the road and end up trapped in a sledgehammer-wielding kook’s basement, you dirty bird, you.
Hella Optilux 1400 Driving Lights—They’re rectangular, they make light, they’re affordable, they’re driving lights.
TruXedo TonneauMate—Mate a golden retriever with a poodle, you get a golden doodle. Mate a pickup tonneau cover with a truck tool box, you get this deluxe tonneau accessory from TruXedo. Dr. Moreau would be proud.
Escort RedLine Radar Detector—If the M*A*S*H unit had one of these detectors from Escort Radar, they would have detected Radar O’Reilly before he delivered the news of Colonel Blake’s copter crash, sparing us all the sadness.
FANMATS NFL Cargo Mats—Same as above, but replace “hockey gear” with “football gear.”
FANMATS NBA Cargo Mats—Same as above, but replace “football gear” with “basketball gear.”
FANMATS MLB Cargo Mats—Same as above, but replace “basketball gear” with “baseball gear.”
The 16th is National Boss Day, but I gotta ask: since when does Springsteen deserve his own holiday? Baby, we were born to boycott, and we’re doing it in true AutoAnything style by distracting you from dancing in the dark with this crop of 12 new accessories.
Elite Automotive Camaro Paint-Matched License Plate Frames—Feature: These Elite Automotive license plate frames are the only ones that come painted with factory-match colors. Benefit: They’re even vainer than your B1CH1N vanity plates. Each comes with the true Camaro SS logo.
Elite Automotive Corvette Paint-Matched License Plate Frames—Feature: Same as the other license plate frames by Elite Automotive, only with Corvette colors.
CURT Euro Ball Mount—Feature: Their one-piece design makes these CURT hitch balls as slender as a goose’s neck. Benefit: They make great cudgels when Bill O’Reilly sics Fox Security on you for buying something European.
Extang B-Light Tonneau Lighting System—Feature: These truck bed lights give your payload the lux fiat treatment. Benefit: Along with the cooler of Vitamin Water, harem-esque pillows and bowl of dried apricots, these Extang lights are the finishing touch to your compassionate coyote transport rig.
Putco LED Bulbs—With their 360-degree design, installing these LED lights from Putco is like cutting and pasting the sun into your rig’s tail lights, brake lights, turn signal lights—any automotive lights you want.
Access Truck Bed Lights—Although you can’t clap-on-clap-off these Access truck bed lights, they do feature a nifty built-in on/off switch. And, they’re powerful enough to illuminate your entire payload, even if you have a pickup truck tonneau cover installed.
Classic Accessories Snow Thrower Cab—Shields are to the knight in shining armor as these snow blower cabs from Classic Accessories are to the man being forced by his wife to clear snow from the driveway.
Rhino Rack Cargo Basket—Feature: These roof cargo baskets from Australia’s own Rhino Rack are wrought from aluminum. Benefit: The aluminum is alloyed with PaulHoganium, giving it the power to cull water buffalos and detect whether a sheila is really a bloke.
It’s Aloha Day (R.I.P. IZ) at work today, and we were treated to our usual Free Breakfast Friday. But I have a bone to pick: Were this an authentic Aloha Day, the break room would have been filled with the sweet sweet smells of grilled Spam, sticky rice and ketchup, rather than the usual aroma of Hot Pockets and Activia. Oh well. In spite of this cultural faux pas, we still added a whopping 14 new accessories onto AutoAnything.com. Sneak a peak:
Softride Top Tube Bike Frame Adapter—Unlike more common cosmetic enhancements, adding a top tube won’t clear up your wrinkles, inhibit you from showing emotion or drain your wallet. But, using one of these Softride bike rack accessories changes its look and functionality all for less than $30—no risks involved.
Wrockit Wrench Open-End Ratchet Wrenches—Or, as Scooby-Doo would call them, Wrockit Wrench Ropen-Rend Ratchet Wrenches. These ingenious tools combine the rapid-tightening of a ratchet with the convenience of a wrench. A geneticist would call it a chimera.
Clingo Universal Hands Free Podium—The difference that separates the Clingo hands free podium from most lecture podiums is that this one doesn’t tend to result in sweaty palms, cracking voices and a roomful of people being pictured in their underwear. But seriously, folks. These deluxe mobile electronics holders are the perfect addition to your assortment of desktop distractions.
Clingo Parabolic Sound Sphere—Even if geometry was never your strong point, you’re sure to appreciate how Clingo uses parabolas and spheres to create this stylish sound system. It’s both a natural amplifier for your iPhone, iPod or other portable MP3 player, and it’s a helmet in a pinch.
Gorilla Net Cargo Net—Just as Tarzan’s jungle canopy provides security for the creatures of the rainforest, the Gorilla Net Cargo Net provides security for the contents of your truck bed. The only way to keep your stuff more secure than with these cargo nets & tie-downs would be if you trained an actual gorilla to lay in your truck bed and hold everything down with her heft.
Tripledge Green Wiper Blades—These are the first windshield wipers deemed safe for septic tanks, plastic pipes and municipal water systems. We’re talking greener-then-Woody-Harrelson’s-cigarettes green, and that’s mighty green, baby. Thanks, Tripledge.
Armor All Premium Wiper Blades—Just like “extreme” and “supreme;” adding “premium” to a product name gives it the nebulous distinction of being better. But, these Armor All wiper blades are pretty premium—they leave a thin film of water-repellent goo on your windshield, so water beads up and wipes away easier.
Armor All Ultra Flex Wiper Blades—You can juice up, shave your armpits, get a spray tan, apply a glistening sheen of posing oil and flex like Lou Ferrigno. But, it won’t clear your windshield like these travel accessories from Armor All. They’re curved like a banana, which keeps them pressed against your windshield for more powerful wipes.
AEM Replacement Air Intake Filter—Mom was right: generic-brand dextro is just as good as Robitussin in purple drank, and AEM replacement air intake filters are just as effective as K&N air filters in air intake systems.
Like a coveted golden ticket hidden within the wrapper of a Wonka Bar, this week’s new product announcement promises a lifetime of wild wonder and rotted teeth. Read up, rinse and spit.
KONI RAID Red Shocks—Huffing a sock full of Raid bug spray could leave you feeling like a six-legged character from a Kafka short story. But, equipping your street demon with these boss shocks from KONI will make you feel like Viggo Mortensen’s trusty mustang, Hidalgo, racing across Arabia in the ’04 blockbuster Hidalgo, a movie about a horse named Hidalgo. These suckers are perfect for serious off-road racing, Baja 500-style.
KONI Heavy Track Red Shocks—Neil Diamond said it best (yes, better than The Hollies, you audio-snobs): “He ain’t heavy, he’s my shock absorber.” If the welfare of your suspension system is of your concern, these Koni shocks deliver the goods your rugged off-roader demands…they’re just a notch down from the race-ready RAID Red Shocks.
Licensed Logo Hitch Covers by Pilot—Go down the right alley in Hong Kong or Los Angeles’s Garment District, and you could find an unlicensed version of these hitch covers by Pilot Automotive (not to mention knock-off Big Johnson shirts). But, bypassing licensing fees means you’d be stealing bread out of the hungry mouths of mammoth corporations, whose coffers are not yet lined with enough gold-plated diamonds.
Missed us? Sorry. Someone forwarded us over a link to the My Brother, My Brother and Me podcast, and we’ve been incapacitated with a serious case of the funny bones. And, between the peals of laughter, we’ve been trying to come up with the perfect question to ask these modern-era advice dispensers.
So, it goes without saying that the workflow has gone from the raging river of a frat boy with 80 ounces of Natty Ice in his gut to the sad trickle of an aging insurance adjuster with an engorged prostate. For the sake of appeasing the suits, though, we did bust out these two new products. Check it:
Edge Attitude CT/CTS Upgrade Kit—In the old days, an attitude upgrade came from dad’s swift backhand. These days, it’s done with fancy electronics found inside of highfalutin performance chips. Since all electronics eventually become obsolete, Edge Performance Chips created a special upgrade kit that lets you swap out your old-school Edge Juice with the new-school CS (color screen) or CTS (color touch screen). Here are the new performance chips:
Truck Pal Tailgate Ladder—There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold / And she’s buy-ai-ing a Westin tailgate ladder to heaven. If ever there was a truck bed accessory that inspired generations of teens to suck face behind the school bleachers, it’s this tailgate accessory from Westin. ZoSo!
P.S. We’ve been working on putting together a gaggle of install videos, showing you just how easy it is to bolt raw power onto your ride. Whiiiiiiiieeeeeeee, Whaaaaaaawwwwwwww, Waaaaaaaaaaaaa. That’s a little guitar solo that plays in our head every time we think of automotive horsepower. Squeeeeeeeeeeee, Squaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Doooooooooowaaaaaaaaa. So, check out this trick AutoAnything Airaid Throttle Body Spacer install video, and see what kind of soundtrack your mind comes up with.
Hot off the presses, it’s the New Product Times-Picayune-Gazette, bringing you only the finest automotive bric-a-brac fit to print.
Adarac Truck Rack—For this rack upgrade, you won’t have to take a medical holiday to Thailand or hole up in your apartment recouping—it’s a turnkey solution for your application and verbiage verbiage verbiage. Beyond the marketing jibber-jabber, this tonneau cover rack from Access racks bolts directly into your stake pockets, so there’s no need to hunt down and dust off your Makita for this project. And, it leaves your bed open for any inside-the-rails tonneau cover.
Truxedo B-Light—TruXedo wanted to call these truck bed lights “A-Lights,” but the only celebrities who responded to the endorsement listing were Delta Burke, Rudy Ray Moore and Dave Coulier. Personally, we think that if these LED lights were to show up to the A-list Hollywood club, Voyeur, the bouncer would be so impressed by the powerful bulbs and ease of installation that he’d let them in. Not to mention, these Truxedo lights are backed by a one year warranty.
Thule Rack Pads—You could strap some elbow pads to your crossbars, but you better be prepared to get clowned in the parking lot by your boys. Save some face by cushioning your base rack system with these spongy roof rack accessories from Thule, Sweden’s finest export after Nordic swimsuit models.
Thule Stacker—Because untangling your bikes from the heap you piled ’em in isn’t conducive to the start of a relaxing jaunt down the boardwalk, keep those two-wheelers organized with this deluxe bike storage rack from Thule racks.
MAXPRO Brake Bleeder Kit—Put down your leeches and give your kid a reprieve from the pump-pump-pump-hold duty—these professional-grade brake bleeder kits from Phoenix Systems come complete with everything you need to self-bleed your own brakes or clutch right in your garage.
Phoenix V-12 Brake Bleeder Kit—The perfect gift for the DIY phlebotomist and the amateur grease monkey who doesn’t need all the bells and whistles of the MAXPRO but still wants to do solo brake bleed jobs. Armed with a Phoenix Systems brake bleeder, anyone can get rock-hard brakes in about 10 minutes. Rock-hard buttocks, though, are not guaranteed…but, hey, there is a lot of squatting involved.
Armor Lid Tonneau Cover—Dress your truck with the best form of defense since the moat: the new Armor Lid. This tough-as-nails hard tonneau cover boasts a triple Triplex design that can shoulder up to 1,000 lbs (that’s like an entire kindergarten class) and dual twist locks (to keep the grubby, paste-covered fingers of said kindergarteners off your valuables).
Pop in your hair curlers, pour a steamy mug of your favorite Taster’s Choice and take a dainty bite from a madeleine because it’s time to nestle in for our weekly new product gab sesh. You know the score—we’ll share juicy nuggets of gossip about what Thule’s been doing behind Softride’s back, and what we think about HitchSafe’s outrageous new faux alligator pumps.
HitchSafe Key Vault—It’s like a mobile Fort Knox for your receiver hitch, but better because you won’t have to worry about evil geniuses hatching dastardly schemes to set off a nucular (sic) bomb under your ride. With one of these trailer hitch accessories from HitchSafe mounted to your hitch, all you have to worry about is forgetting your combination.
Softride Dura Hydraulic Assist Hitch Bike Rack—Remember Mrs. Deagle’s radical chair lift from Gremlins…you know, the one that the Gremlins hotwired so she’d launch out the window? This deluxe new hitch bike rack from Softride is a lot like that, only less likely to ruin your x-mas.
Thule Insta-gater—You’re motoring down to the trailhead with your Huffy clamped down in the jaws of this Thule truck bed bike rack, you’re tuned to 98.7 The Gator (Palm Beach’s ROCK Station), and The Boss’s Chicken Lips And Lizard Hips is bumping on the speakers. Baby, life in Florida couldn’t get any better…unless Florida were New York City, and your Huffy were a custom Bologna Bike.
Rampage Lockstraps Locking Tie-Down Strap—Sick of the flimflammery perpetrated by the likes of Harry Houdini, Doug Henning and David Copperfield? Well, they’re not gonna wriggle their way out of these cargo nets & tie-downs from Rampage Jeep. It’s the ideal security harness for valuable freight, be it a motorcycle, an armoire or a prestidigitator. Just remember: always have a safe word.
Stepped outside lately? Ma Nature’s set the sun to broil. To avoid having our faces melt off, we’ve been squatting in the office afterhours to soak up the free A/C. But, you can only have so many chair races and cheese-puff eating competitions before growing so bored that you resort to working just to escape the tedium. Thus, this hefty schmear of new accessories from plucky brands like PlasmaGlow, Smittybilt, Hi-Lift, INNO and ATS Designs.
PlasmaGlow Lightning Eyes LED Headlight Strips—Legend has it that these automotive lights came into existence when a particularly comely strip of flexible, sticky-backed wiring caught the eye of mighty Zeus, who took the form of dazzling LED lights and had knowledge of the wiring, which in turn begot these PlasmaGlow lights.
Smittybilt Fire Extinguisher Holder Kits—Smittybilt jeep trail tip #27: fire extinguishers (essential Jeep roll cage accessories) should be easily accessible in the event that your co-pilot tries to sneak his Prodigy cassette into the radio, requiring a quick shot of retardant in his face, Cheney-style.
Smittybilt Sport Handle Kits—Smittybilt trail tip #46: when you pull up next to a Jetta packed with stunning undergrads, grab onto your Sport Handles and flex for maximum gun-flashage. More than a few happy marriages began because of a veiny forearm.
Smittybilt Tow Strap Kits—Smittybilt trail tip #6: don’t head out into the bush unless you’re equipped with: Top Gun soundtrack, sleeveless Ts with off-color jokes about installing carpeting, tow straps & recovery gear, jerkies of mixed meats, and a cooler of O’Doul’s.
Hi Lift Jacks—Lifting, pushing, pulling, winching, clamping—for some, great qualities in high lift jacks. For others, a spouse. But seriously, folks. If there’s one thing off-roaders should never leave home without, it’s one of these jacks from Hi-Lift.
Hi Lift Slide-N-Lock—When you just can’t decide between the Slip ‘N Slide and the Crocodile Mile, go for these deluxe cargo tie downs from Hi-Lift. Engineered for versatility and strength, every Hi-Lift tie down is crafted from solid 6061-T6 aluminum, making it a strong, light addition to any vehicle. Great for trailers too!
INNO Upright Lock Bike Rack—Think Lance Armstrong pops off the front wheel of his cycles just to mount them to his roof bike rack? Please. The man is a cancer survivor—he knows life’s too precious to be wasted fiddling with quick release skewers. INNO agrees.
ATS Uni II Running Boards—These running boards are sure to stop your spouse from nagging about the climb in and out of your truck. Now if only you would wash the dishes, take out the trash, manscape, clean the bathroom…
Chekov said that if there’s a gun hanging on the wall in the first act, it has to be fired by the second. We say nuts to waiting. This week’s new products are coming out guns a blazin’, booyakasha-ing you in the face with their 20-ought quality and full-metal savings. Break yourself:
French novelist Honoré Balzac was often pursued by passionate woman seeking to kiss the hand that wrote Séraphîta. Similarly, AutoAnything will be pursued by passionate car modders looking to spice up their street chariots with this bevy of new accessories.
CURT Front Mount Receiver Hitch—Who says you can only have one Bumper Dumper going at a time? With a front mount trailer hitch from CURT, you and your hunting buddy can both go see a man about a horse at the same time.
Eastern Catalytic Converters – 49-state Legal—Self-medicating on your cat-less exhaust‘s unfiltered fumes won’t bring Earlene back. Eastern Catalytic thinks it’s time to move on, and removing the temptation to huff hydrocarbons starts with a new catalytic converter.
Superchips Racing Diesel Tuner—Just when you thought Ralph Nader couldn’t get any more upset, Superchips developed the mother of all diesel power programmers and performance tuners. Maybe it’ll shake him so much that his googly eye squares away.
Coverking Car Bra—The best bras in town are no longer Victoria’s Secret. A car bra comes with a standard warranty and doesn’t utilize clumsy clasps to hold it together… lets see you push-up bra do that. And once you slip into one of these custom-tailored Coverking car bras, Vic’s will seem about as comfortable as that vintage over-the-shoulder-holster you picked up at a dead woman’s estate sale.
Tokico Illumina Shocks—We’d like to claim that these Illuminas are the official shocks of the Illuminati, but then we’d have to send an albino monk to your house for some back-alley ministry.
Tokico Trekmaster Shocks—Stairmaster, Thighmaster, Trekmaster: all things everyone could use a little more of in their lives. That, and gravies.
You’re probably too distracted thinking about tomorrow’s big Cameroon v. Denmark World Cup match, but you might be interested in knowing that we added a couple new truck accessories up onto the site this week. Check ’em out:
Westin Xtreme Push Bar—Simmer down, rock kids. This is not a new Gary Cherone band—it’s a new stainless steel grille guard from Westin. Instead of being constructed from teeth whitener, spray-on tan juice and hair activator like Mr. C, your Push Bar is built from T304 stainless steel.
Putco LED Headlight Strips—Want an Audi look but only have an AMC budget? You could harvest some eggs and sell them to a barren couple for a good chunk of change. Of course, the big bucks come from being a surrogate, but that’s a recipe for varicose veins. The affordable alternative: string a line of these custom-designed LED lights from Putco under your headlights. At night, no one will be the wiser.
With the kick off of the World Cup underway, you may have been a tad busy honing your hooliganing abilities to notice that our digital shelves expanded with 13 new accessories from Thule, Kurgo, Edge, INNO and Party King Tailgate Grills. We don’t blame you—it’d be embarrassing to show up at the local sports bar with rusty sucker punching, smoke-bomb lighting and urine-filled-balloon tossing skills. If you do have some downtime between matches, check out these great new offerings.
Party King Swing N Smoke Tailgate Grill—When your adult league softball game ends, the last thing you want to do is brave the long lines and overpriced Coors at Shakey’s. Besides, do you know what kind of grody shenanigans go on in the kitchens of family restaurants? Be your own chef with this smoking new hitch-mounted tailgate grill from Party King Grills.
Thule Canoe Carrier—If loading and lugging your canoe around town leaves you squealing like a pig, it’s time to upgrade from your Rube Goldberg roof rack contraption and get a proper Thule racks canoe carrier.
Thule Hydro Glide Kayak Rack—Thanks to the friction-free felt lining on these kayak racks, pushing a kayak onto your roof feels as smooth as bowling a baby down a Slip ‘n Slide slathered with Astroglide.
INNO Wind Fairing—Sick of getting slapped by your neighborhood chickas because they confuse the whistle of your roof rack with a cat call? This new INNO fairing should boost your game.
Kurgo Tire Garage—It’s the American dream: a chicken in every pot and a tire in every tire garage.
Kurgo Tire Roo—Strikingly similar to the storage units employed by Australia’s indigenous marsupial population, this Kurgo tire storage unit and organizer has enough pouch space for screwdrivers, socket sets and joeys.
Kurgo Skybox Dog Booster Seat—For the rich, a “skybox” is a metaphor for being out of touch with the working class. For your precious little pooch, a Kurgo skybox dog carrier is a metaphor for being out of touch with the fact he’s a dog.
Kurgo Wander Dog Hammock—A hammock for a dog? It’s a pet and a Bob Denver thing—you wouldn’t understand.
Kurgo Wander Dog Carrier—There are 4 rules for mogwai care; don’t get them wet, don’t expose them to bright light, don’t feed them after midnight, and always transport them in one of these dog carriers.
Inhalants and bicycling? I don’t know. Would you really feel comfortable commuting to work on your fixie after sucking out the gas from a can of whipped topping? Not me. But, Thule’s trying to change that knee-jerk attitude with their latest and lightest bike rack. Check it:
Thule Helium Hitch Bike Rack—This new bike rack from Thule may not be quite as light as that balloon full of helium you were sucking on during the Dead’s last real show at Soldier Field, but it does weigh about half as much as traditional hitch bike racks. Why’s that important? If you’re prone to hernias, this bike rack won’t make your intestinal tissue jut into your abdomen like a pop-up turkey thermometer.
For more tricky ways to find the right Hitch Bike Rack for your next trek, check out these helpful quick-links:
Full moons affect us in primal ways. No, we don’t go gallivanting around the countryside tearing open the bellies of surfs and snacking on their entrails. We work. And we work some more. And we collapse exhausted. Then, we wake up, dust the Pringles crumbs off our chests, and report on the aftermath. Here’s one such reporting:
Thule Top Deck Kayak Rack—Put on your barfly thinking cap for a minute—the Thule Top Deck may not be a top-shelf kayak rack, but Popov comforts just as well as Grey Goose and leaves you with some spare Washingtons for a pickled egg dinner.
Pulstar Eco-MPG Series Spark Plugs—These Pulstar spark plugs would definitely be cooler if they had a Flux Capacitor inside, but their standard capacitor does have the power to boost your MPGs up to 10%. Not too shabby for a spark plug.
Pulstar Performance Series Spark Plugs—If your allegiances lean more towards Sterling Moss than Iron Eyes Cody, these performance Pulstar plugs juice your ignition system with up to 12% more horsepower.
Putco LED Strip Lights—Got a wad of sweaty ones burning a hole in your pocket? This brilliant LED light strip from Putco mounts anywhere you need a little extra light and won’t get you in hot water with your significant other.
Putco LED Truck Bed Lights—Think your buddies down at the Elks Lodge are going to go easy on you after you string a strand of kitschy lights shaped like characters from Pink Flamingos around your truck bed? You’re better off with some proper truck bed lights.
TonnoPro Tri-Fold Tonneau Cover—There are good toupees, and there are rugs. The same goes for folding tonneau covers. Let’s just say this new TonnoPro tonneau cover won’t flap in the wind if you’re tobogganing down Mt. Whitney.
Go Boxes Portable Ford Toolbox—Because hardcore Ford fans need hardcore Ford toolboxes.
Summer’s right around the corner, and you know what that means—it’s time to start manscaping your back for beach parties and preparing your ride for the hot July sun. You’ll have to look somewhere else for a Mangroomer, but AutoAnything has your back when it comes to giving your engine a Slurpee-grade brain freeze.
Flexalite Cooling Fans— An electric cooling fan from Flex-a-lite won’t keep a veranda-swinging southern belle cool on a sweltering Savannah summer night, but they do a bang-up job of cooling your engine—way better than stock fans, that’s for sure. Factory blades move air over your radiator like a timid lover blowing into his girlfriend’s ear for the first time. Flex-a-lite is an experienced cooling libertine, blowing your motor with enough gusto to boost your horsepower and reduce MPGs, especially if you’re towing with a heavy-duty 5th wheel hitch or gooseneck hitch.
We’re usually too busy scouring the globe for choice auto accessories to keep up with the talking heads on TV jibber-jabbering on about beltway skullduggery. But Joad Cressbeckler is a breath of fresh Black Hills air. He stands up against flannel-mouthed snake oil peddlers, and he isn’t afraid to give those he disagrees with a little what for. These two new accessories are dedicated to Joad, the orneriest prospector that ever had his own cable news show.
Dash Designs Suede Rear Deck Covers—You love the luxurious look, feel and aroma of a dead beast’s skin, but you’re tired of PeTA dumping red paint all over your ride because of your elephant ear steering wheel cover. Your first step on the road to compassionate accessorizing starts with one of these faux suede rear deck covers from Dash Designs.