Tag Archives: car bra

What is the point in having a car bra?

Some things people do or buy absolutely mystify me. That’s why I created this series of “What’s the Point?” articles, tackling (eventually) all of that which I do not understand. Up next: car bras, an utterly confusing item stretched across the front of many a car on the road today. Read along to understand the stretched vinyl madness.

What’s the point in having a car bra? Enough people swear by the idea that I see the word “Covercraft” almost everywhere I drive. I truly cannot digest the concept of having one of these thick vinyl albatrosses stretched across the front of one’s vehicle, whether car, truck, van, SUV or other auto. Sure, there’s always a need to protect your car—that much I get. But, doing it with a car bra just seems to defeat the purpose in a giant way.

First off, I don’t get covering the face of your vehicle like this. Cars aren’t mere transportation—they’re to be admired as works of art, especially when you motor in something as stately as my Buick. The careful crafting, the impressive grille detail and even the enduring logo are all things you definitely want to show off. The face of a vehicle is virtually its entire personality, molded straight from the hearts of a team of engineers over weeks and months and years. And a person would go and cover that with black vinyl? I just don’t get it.

Worse yet, some drivers even go so far as to say they like the look of a car bra; that their vehicle doesn’t look right without one. They detect a bit of sporty effervescence in the look of a bra. This probably ports over from the bra’s origination as a protection device for track-testing Porsche models in Germany about 30-40 years ago. Could it also be that perhaps drivers like having the look of a test mule vehicle, lugging through the searing desert air and dodging spy shot photographers, all to their own? I think this kind of allure or something similar may be their motive.

I get that people find a measure of protection behind a half-inch of synthetic fabric. Plastic parts crack from tossed rocks; paint pits when virtually and debris brazes its surface. Bugs deposit entrails into inconvenient spots. But, unless a driver has a full-body car bra, the same fate will fall on the uncovered portions of their vehicle regardless. No paint is invulnerable. Sure, a car bra can keep your frontal color fresh for a while. But, it won’t fade at the same rate as the rest of the finish. And, dirt and sand trapped beneath the bra (believe me – it happens to all bras) can effectively sandblast the clear-coat layers into a complete haze. That’s right—a car bra can cause the very problem it was meant to solve.

So, to all of those car bra enthusiasts out there, I say you can keep them. A car bra can’t save you from the inevitable, it blocks the beauty of an automobile, and it looks quite shabby regardless of the vehicle it masks. If you follow the regimen required to simultaneously prevent damage with a bra and damage from a bra, it becomes an entire facet of your free time. I’ll stick to proudly showing my big Buick grille. And I’ll continue to get tougher with every stone thrown its way.

The LeBra and the Covercraft car bra are two things I’d never be caught dead with.

My Mom Took Me Bra Shopping!

Ringing sleigh bells and fresh evergreen smells…and for most people, this means hell.  It’s that time of year again and you know what that means- spending time with loved ones, drinking eggnog, and most importantly—shopping!  I can’t wait!

My family’s schedule during Christmas usually consists of sitting in traffic on the way to the mall, standing in lines, and fighting with mobs of disgruntled shoppers in efforts to purchase that “perfect” present.  I know, I love it too!  Unfortunately, my generation has been cursed with the gift of the internet and we do our shopping from a computer at home.  We always get the shaft.

It’s hard to explain, but I have this extraordinary talent for finding that perfect gift.  I guess it all started when I was born.  I was too young to remember, but my parents love telling the story.  They were in college—studying, learning, probably protesting something—when my mom went to the doctor and found out she was pregnant.  You wouldn’t believe how surprised my dad was when she told him!  She gave him such a great gift—me!  He responded with something like, “Oh perfect!”  and “This is just what we need right now.”  Anyway, I guess my talent comes from the fact that I was the perfect gift.

But enough about me, let’s get back to Christmas.  A new baseball hat and jersey for my younger brother—Timmy really loves those Yankees.  A year’s subscription to National Geographic for my sister Suzy—maybe she would find a boyfriend if her nose wasn’t always buried in a book.  A gift certificate for a massage for Mom—I think her back’s been hurting her from carrying all that laundry. And for my dad (drum roll please)—a bra!  Ok, ok, I know what you’re thinking – “He’s so crazy!” – But hear me out.

My dad likes cars. Actually, scratch that.  My dad LOVES cars.  My mom is always saying that his Corvette is his mistress and he would sleep with it too if the bed were big enough.  He takes it to car shows, rally meet-ups, and the track.  But last time I was driving with him, we turned onto a street that was under construction and he almost had a heart attack.  Now let me tell you, the second he started rolling down the street and those pebbles started splashing up onto his front end, he started letting out words that I hadn’t heard since that time I tried to see if his new laptop floated – it didn’t.

I shared the gift idea with my Mom and she thought it was swell.  And as much as I wanted to spend time in lines, traffic, and crowded stores, my mom thought we should check out car bras online first.  It turned out that we found an awesome automotive accessory site that had a huge selection of car bras, free shipping, and great customer service to answer all of our questions.  Man, this internet is taking all the fun out of holiday shopping.

In the end, bra shopping with my mom went pretty well.  We ended up going with the LeBra, which my dad loved, but we also found an excellent assortment of other Covercraft car bras. – Mike Rosania