Is it just me, or is Freddy Prinze Jr.’s career buried next to Jimmy Hoffa? If today’s avalanche of new accessories doesn’t inspire another Scooby-Doo movie, I may have to get this Prinze4Eva tattoo lasered off.
Hella Optilux 1450 Fog Lights—These smallish fog lights from Hella lights were originally designed 42 years before Columbus sailed the ocean blue, but they were deemed heretical and locked away in the Pontiff’s chifforobe until now.
Hella Optilux 2020 Combo Fog and Driving Lights—You couldn’t even decide on which absurd TGIF cocktail to order last night, but you expect to decide between getting fog lights or driving lights? Son, just get these two-in-one lamps from Hella Automotive Lights and stop your hem-hawing.
Hella Optilux 1200 Series Fog Lights—Feature: They’re oblong fog lights, dude. Benefit: Use ’em the next time you’re driving through Colorado in a snow storm after finishing your novel, and maybe you won’t go off the road and end up trapped in a sledgehammer-wielding kook’s basement, you dirty bird, you.
Hella Optilux 1400 Driving Lights—They’re rectangular, they make light, they’re affordable, they’re driving lights.
TruXedo TonneauMate—Mate a golden retriever with a poodle, you get a golden doodle. Mate a pickup tonneau cover with a truck tool box, you get this deluxe tonneau accessory from TruXedo. Dr. Moreau would be proud.
Escort RedLine Radar Detector—If the M*A*S*H unit had one of these detectors from Escort Radar, they would have detected Radar O’Reilly before he delivered the news of Colonel Blake’s copter crash, sparing us all the sadness.
FANMATS NFL Cargo Mats—Same as above, but replace “hockey gear” with “football gear.”
FANMATS NBA Cargo Mats—Same as above, but replace “football gear” with “basketball gear.”
FANMATS MLB Cargo Mats—Same as above, but replace “basketball gear” with “baseball gear.”