Monthly Archives: September 2010

These New Promotions Are Almost As Satisfying As A Cup Of Purple Drank


Purple Drank

Nothing quenches your thirst after a long, arduous day at work like a Styrofoam chalice of sizzurp mixed with some Sprite and chunks of Jolly Rancher. But, if the lean isn’t enough to satisfy, take a pull off these delicious promotions running now at AutoAnything.

AirBedz

Airbedz—Save $25 on any AirBedz Truck Bed Air Mattress. Offer good between now – 10/15/2010.

Bestop

Bestop—Get a $50 rebate on a Bestop Replace-A-Top Jeep Top. Offer good between now – 10/31/2010.

Lund

Lund Tonneaus—Get a free diamond plate tote box with the purchase of any Lund Tonneau Cover. Offer good between now – 10/10/2010.

Great Googly Moogly: 1 New Shock & 1 Zappa Tribute


August 9th may be Baltimore’s official Frank Zappa Day, but AutoAnything’s holding a repeat celebration by launching a product in honor of his seminal track, Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow. With a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this office, we brought forth a deluxe new suspension system accessory that’s sure to give your sled the stability it needs to watch out where the huskies go.

KONI Sport Yellow Shocks—First there was the novel, Yellow River, by I.P. Freely. Now come the shocks, Yellow Shocks, by KONI. These suckers are the best street shocks KONI has to offer—they come custom damped and valved for your ride, they’re fully adjustable at each wheel, and they’re perfect when paired with lowering kits and sway bars.

KONI Sport Yellow Shocks

And if you want to strut these shocks in style, head on over to Real Vicious Truck Beds, they’ve got some good looking whips that you can draw style cue’s from.

Just Say No To Chillaxin’, But Yes To New Auto Accessories


Willy Wonka

Like a coveted golden ticket hidden within the wrapper of a Wonka Bar, this week’s new product announcement promises a lifetime of wild wonder and rotted teeth. Read up, rinse and spit.

KONI RAID Red ShocksHuffing a sock full of Raid bug spray could leave you feeling like a six-legged character from a Kafka short story. But, equipping your street demon with these boss shocks from KONI will make you feel like Viggo Mortensen’s trusty mustang, Hidalgo, racing across Arabia in the ’04 blockbuster Hidalgo, a movie about a horse named Hidalgo. These suckers are perfect for serious off-road racing, Baja 500-style.

KONI RAID Red Shocks

KONI Heavy Track Red ShocksNeil Diamond said it best (yes, better than The Hollies, you audio-snobs): “He ain’t heavy, he’s my shock absorber.” If the welfare of your suspension system is of your concern, these Koni shocks deliver the goods your rugged off-roader demands…they’re just a notch down from the race-ready RAID Red Shocks.

KONI Heavy Track Red Shocks

Licensed Logo Hitch Covers by PilotGo down the right alley in Hong Kong or Los Angeles’s Garment District, and you could find an unlicensed version of these hitch covers by Pilot Automotive (not to mention knock-off Big Johnson shirts). But, bypassing licensing fees means you’d be stealing bread out of the hungry mouths of mammoth corporations, whose coffers are not yet lined with enough gold-plated diamonds.

Licensed Logo Hitch Covers by Pilot

AutoAnything Career Fair September 10th, 2010


Career Fair/Resume Drop at AutoAnything!
Friday, September 10th, 2010 @ 10 AM — 2 PM
Location: 9210 Sky Park Court, San Diego CA 92123
Positions Currently Open/Accepting Applications for:

– Customer Service Specialist
– Customer Service/Inside Sales Specialist (Hybrid)
– Live Chat
– Purchasing/Logistics Agent

For Your Consideration: 19 Deluxe New Accessories at AutoAnything


Mother, do you wanna bang heads with me

According to my mother, the following 19 new product blurbs are on par with the comedic stylings of Mr. Red Skelton. Also, I’m not eating enough. And, I owe her some grandchildren already.

Clingo Universal Hands-free Mobile Device MountIn Klingon, the Clingo sales literature reads, “baQa’ ghuy’cha’ Qovpatlh vatlh Clingo jIH nuqneH petaQ taHqeq!” Roughly translated, it means, “From the eye sockets of our enemies springs forth these fearful Clingo mobile electronics holders with their dreaded, sticky green pad that grips phones, MP3 players and daggers without leaving behind a residue.”

Clingo Universal Hands-free Mobile Device Mount

Thule Slipstream Kayak RackSeven out of eight members of Slipknot agree on these two points: 1) this Thule kayak rack makes single-handed kayak loading a cinch, and 2) M.A.C’s Haute & Naughty mascara won’t run when you’re in a tour bus toilet weeping about being in Slipknot.

Thule Slipstream Kayak Rack

KONI Special D Red ShocksYeah, it’s cold in the D, but these KONI Special D Red Shocks are sure to warm you and your shorties right up.

KONI Special D Red Shocks

KONI Classic Red ShocksIn 1985, KONI changed the formula of their shocks, calling them “KONI New Red Shocks.” Immediate consumer backlash demanded a return to the original formula, thus “KONI Classic Red Shocks.”

KONI Classic Red Shocks

KONI STR.T Orange ShocksHieronymus Bosch has the Oranges triptych, REM has Orange Crush, and KONI suspension systems has Orange shocks, now with extra STR.T-ness.

KONI STR.T Orange Shocks

BedRug VanRug Cargo MatBecause lying down your area rug with crème-colored fringe definitely doesn’t make your van look chic, carpet your workhorse with one of these durable cargo & trunk liners from BedRug.

BedRug VanRug Cargo Mat

BedRug VanTred Cargo LinerSick and tired of your stuff slippin’ and slidin’ around your van’s cargo area? You could either give up your dreams of becoming an internet sensation by posting your homemade hooning videos, or you could turn to BedRug and score one of their custom-sized all-weather cargo liners.

BedRug VanTred Cargo Liner

Covercraft Gust Guard—In case of a hurricane, batten down your home, fill your bathtub with water and secure all car covers with this handy car cover accessory from Covercraft.

Covercraft Gust Guard

Premium Licensed Hitch Covers by PilotStudies show that if you add the word “premium” to a product title, it’llsell faster than Sproles returning a kickoff. (Look, I’m not exactly sure what a “Sproles” is because someone else wrote that line, and I’m too hopped up on Juan Valdez’s secret sauce to write something original about these hitch covers from Pilot.)

Premium Licensed Hitch Covers by Pilot

College Helmet Hitch Covers by PilotIt’s a twofold hitch cover: protection for your head and your hitch.

College Helmet Hitch Covers by Pilot

College Logo Hitch Covers by PilotBecause some cities actually have college teams worth cheering for, Pilot developed a bruiser line of covers for trailer hitches with officially licensed collegiate logos.

College Logo Hitch Covers by Pilot

Cool Cap Heat Reflective Car CoverFinally, a way to block those invasive mind-control transmissions from the government and/or the aliens. Plus, these car sun shades from Cool Cap drop your interior temperatures by up to 100 degrees.

Cool Cap Heat Reflective Car Cover

InstaJack 12V Automatic Car JackGetting a flat tire might be more enjoyable if you had Elvis Costello standing behind you playing Pump it Up. But, that cat’s busy. So, hum that track and use one of these ingenious tire-changing tools from InstaJack.

InstaJack 12V Automatic Car Jack

InstaWrench 12V Automatic Impact WrenchToday’s world is all about instant gratification. Scratch your “I want it now” itch with this 12V impact wrench from InstaJack that’s sure to pop stubborn lug nuts off lickety-split.

InstaWrench 12V Automatic Impact Wrench

InstaJack and InstaWrench Combo KitIt Takes Two, Two is Better Than One, One is the Loneliest Number—you know the songs. Now, put their message to good use and get both the InstaJack and InstaWrench together.

InstaJack and InstaWrench Combo Kit

Rugged Ridge Interior Trim & Dash KitsBecause some Jeeps like to feel strong, rugged and pretty all at the same time, dress your dune surfer with one of these deluxe dash kits from Rugged Ridge. They come custom configured with all the pieces you need to transform your barren cockpit into a harem on wheels.

Rugged Ridge Interior Trim & Dash Kits

Rugged Ridge Off Road Fender FlaresJust because these off-road fender flares from Rugged Ridge are specially made for trail rats doesn’t mean you need to start taking fire roads and bike trails to Grandma’s house…but, we won’t judge you for it.

Rugged Ridge Off Road Fender Flares

Rugged Ridge Flat Style Fender FlaresIn the past, the word “flat” has had negative connotations—flat soda, flat hair, flat tires. Rugged Ridge is turning “flat” around, though, with these pancake-esque fender flares.

Rugged Ridge Flat Style Fender Flares

RBP RX-2 Side StepsYou don’t have to boogie down in a honky-tonk to enjoy these RX-2 Steps from RBP. You just need a boss belt buckle, a steely stare and the will to upgrade with wheel-to-wheel nerf bars.

RBP RX-2 Side Steps