Monthly Archives: November 2010

A Cornucopia of New Car Accessories


If you’re wearing a belt, go ahead and un-cinch it now. You’re about to chow down on a feast of deluxe new automotive accessories. Open wide for:

RC Cars—Forget about rubbing elbows with amateur bomb-builders down at the Radio Shack. Now, you can score deluxe RC cars right here at AutoAnything from MaxTech Toys and MJX RC. Here are your options:

Mini Cooper RC Car by MJX RC

Ferrari 599 RC Car by MJX RC

Hummer H3 RC Car MJX RC

Dodge Ram RC Truck by MaxTech Toys

Toyota Tundra RC Truck by MaxTech Toys

Ruff Rider Roadie Dog Harness—9 out of 10 of Teddy’s Men agree: these Ruff Rider dog harnesses & seat belts could have played a pivotal role in the taking of San Juan Hill. Nevertheless, they’re still bully at keeping your bull terrier safely in his seat.

Go Rhino Step-N-Tow Hitch Step—Somewhere, someone is hatching a plan to turn one of these modestly priced Go Rhino hitch steps into a multi-thousand dollar trucker exercise empire. If you think these receiver hitch steps have what it takes, then that someone could be you.

EchoMaster Navigator 7 Backup SensorNow mom can have exactly what she’s always said she had with these backup sensors & backup cameras from EchoMaster—eyes in the back of her head.

EchoMaster Navigator Pro Series Front SensorSilence is golden, except when you’re about to drive into a tree pole. The Front Navigator Pro Series Sensor warbles just in time to save your front bumper from an untimely demise.

VisionMaster License Plate CamerasIf I can see your nose hairs through this license plate camera from EchoMaster, you’re driving too close.

VisionMaster Adjustable License Plate CameraIf you can see their nose hairs, this camera allows you to adjust the view to something more flattering, like their cankles.

VisionMaster Bullet Mount CameraMuch more practical than the bullet hole decals your friend just installed on his ride, these mobile electronics mount flush and feed a real-time video stream up to your screen (not included, homes).

VisionMaster LCD Backup MonitorOMG, this TFT LCD monitor will make you LOL. Wait, WTF is wrong with our writing?

OPTIMA Red TopThese OPTIMA batteries’ fiery red heads and steroid-laden bodies make them the Carrot Top of performance batteries.*

*Prop trunk and HGH sold separately.

OPTIMA Yellow TopBecause they’re both deep cycle and cranking car batteries, you can bump Zapp & Roger behind the donut shop all afternoon and still start up with these OPTIMA batteries when curfew rolls around.

Not satisfied with serving up just new accessories, we’ve also got some scrumptious side dishes for you: new departments.

Automotive Logo GearThe average Ford Taurus is badged as such in up to 10 spots around the car. But for some folks, that just ain’t enough.

Sports Logo GearIf the fitted Starter cap, authentic alternate jersey, team sideline jacket and oversized foam hand aren’t already screaming, “Sports fan, here,” we’ve got you covered.

Man CaveYou can take the man out of the cave, but then he’ll just build a new one in his den.

Tools & Tool StorageOr should it be, Men & Man Cave?

Cornucopia image source: Vassil

I’ve Got a Brand New Pair of Accessories, You’ve Got a Brand New Key


It may not be a new pony, but a new accessory announcement is better than a new disease (except maybe that Phenomenon disease that lets you learn Portuguese overnight).

Superwinch EPi 9.0S WinchThis winch is a full 33 lbs lighter than the Superwinch EPi 9.0—if you ask me, that kind of weight control isn’t from a fast metabolism but the occasional hook down the hawse fairlead, if you know what I mean. *Wink.

Rampage Trailblade Wiper BladesYou’d have to be the prince of Zamunda to get a more thorough wipe than what these wiper blades from Rampage deliver.

We also added two (2!) new departments chock-full of great gear.  Sport logo gear is the new hot spot to find… well…logo sports gear.  There’s also a handy new tools and tool storage department for all your wrenching needs. The tool selection is a little sparse right now, but we should have some great additions in the next few months. Keep your eyes peeled.

Pre-holiday Specials Going on N-O-W


You’re a card-carrying member of NOW, and we’re dyed-in-the-wool advocates for the N-O-W principle of online commerce. I won’t bore you with the philosophical maxims of N-O-W (just skim over some John Stuart Mill to get the gist), but I will share with you its core ideal: deals should involve instantaneous freeness not contingent on snail-mail rebate forms and goofy catches hidden in fine print.

To wit, we bring you the latest round of AutoAnything promotions (a silver-tongued way to say free stuff, dude).

DiabloSport: Equip your speed demon with the unholy power of the DiabloSport Trinity, and you’ll get a free 2 1/16″ gauge pod mount. That’s a $24.99 value, son, and it’s good until supplies run out.

WeatherTech: Order a set of WeatherTech Floor Mats (front mats or a mat set (hey, this isn’t fine print, bro…just a minor caveat. No N-O-W tenets have been trampled here.)), and you’ll get a pair of mini floor mat coasters. That’s a priceless value because how can you put a cost on adorableness? Plus, it’s valid from 11/16/2010 – 12/16/2010.

Borla: Buy a boss Borla exhaust system, get a free Borla hat. Simple as that.

Snail image courtesy of sxc.hu.

11 New Rounds in the AutoAnything Glock


Arigato, otearai

On a side note, the phone fairy stopped by AutoAnything’s office last night and left us all Avaya treats. What I can’t get over, though, is how similar the ringer sounds to the jingle the toilets at Tokyo’s Narita Airport play after you’ve made an honorable deposit. Skeevey.

Oh yeah, we also added some new accessories to our digital shelves. Dig these:

Superwinch S3000 WinchWhen not winching crime, Superwinch dons the mild-mannered affect of a hack journalist.

Superwinch S4000 WinchThis Superwinch winch is stronger than the S3000, but also more sensitive to pictures of starving children…a winch that’s not afraid to cry.

Superwinch LP8500 WinchWith 8,500 lbs of line pull, the only thing this 8000 lb winch can’t do is replace your beloved manga body pillow, Kumiko.

Superwinch EP 9.0 WinchThis Superwinch winch boasts 9,000 lbs of line pull, perfect for recovering from a mud hole, but you’ll need a patient shrink to recover from the news that Nazareth isn’t including your city on their 2010 Love Still Hurts tour.

Superwinch EPi 9.0 WinchThe EP 9.0 winch has 100′ of wire rope. The EPi 9.0 has 125′. Do the math—you can go 25% more bananas on your next Jeep jamboree with these winches.

Superwinch EP 12.5 Winch—The perfect winch for rescuing your rig or pulling out the load-bearing supports on that granny flat your neighbor built too close to your property line. Damn you, McGillicuddy!

Superwinch EP 16.5 Winch—For perspective, this brawny winch has enough backbone to reel in almost 23 pairs of McGwire twins simultaneously.

Superwinch S5000 Winch—Compared to its bigger brethren, this winch may seem like a Webster among Reruns, but it kicks like Mister Ed.

Kurgo Combo PackageKurgo Dog On the Go survival kit contents check. In it you’ll find: one bright orange and black Quantum Leash, one Tru-Fit Smart Harness with padded chest plate, one nylon webbed Wander Collar…shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Dallas with all that stuff.

Kurgo Co-Pilot Dog Seat CoverDog may be your co-pilot, but it’s not going to stop her frothy lather of slobber from raining down all over your seat. These seat covers for dogs from Kurgo can help protect you from resenting your dog vs. cat decision.

Softride Ski Rack Attachment—It converts your Softride bike rack into a ski & snowboard rack when you want to convince your coworkers that you do more on the weekends than simply curl up fetal and weep.

Sasquatch Sighted at 2010 SEMA Show


Even though the 2010 SEMA show was held in Las Vegas – a good thousand miles away from his traditional stomping ground in the Pacific Northwest – sasquatch made an impromptu appearance at the custom car concourse. At least, that’s what I thought when I caught sight of the Bigfoot Express, a trick ’32 Ford custom built in honor of the real Bigfoot. Continue reading

Are you there, Flying Spaghetti Monster? It’s me, New Accessories.


There comes a time in every new accessory’s life when it blossoms from Not on AutoAnything to on AutoAnything. It might be a little scary at first for the new accessory. It suddenly has words where there weren’t words before. Its itty-bitty schematic images have ballooned into full-sized heroes. And, it starts daydreaming about what it would be like being sold to a dapper gent in Tallahassee. This crop of 11 accessories went through the change, and they’re all ready for action.

Hella Optilux 1100 Series Fog LightsWhen the robot apocalypse goes down, don’t get caught with these WALL-E-esque peepers bolted to your bumper. Your merciless new overlords won’t take too kindly to your use of robotic eyeballs for fog lights.

Hella Optilux 2550 Angel Eye Driving LightsYou can slip into a set of these haloed Hella driving lights, but only the most near-sighted Bavarians are going to mistake your Ford Probe for a 5-Series.

Hella Optilux 1502 Driving LightsIf these blue and chrome automotive lights had red adjustment bolts, G. Gordon Liddy would feel compelled to salute them before heading out on his nightly hippie-skull-crackin’ regimen.

Hella Optilux 1372 Driving LightsOh, you’ve got green eyes. Oh, you’ve got blue eyes. Oh, you’ve got graaaaaaaaay…no, wait. You’ve got blue eyes, you Hella automotive lights.

Hella Optilux 962 Driving LightsThey might look like some Star Trek alien’s buggy eyes, but that’s the driving light look kids are after these days. Get hip or get hit.

Hella Optilux 1900 Single Driving LightSo these Single lights from Hella have a little extra padding around their mounting brackets and some spare change in the back pocket. So what? They’ve got an amazing personality, a beautiful mind and an old soul.

Hella Optilux 1900 Driving Light KitHeadlights and high beams alone aren’t going to get the message across when you’re trying to warn the driver in front of you that there’s an axe-wielding maniac in her back seat. Flash her in the face with these powerful off-road lights.

Hella Optilux 4″ HID Driving LightDon’t get spooked if Zelda Rubenstein shows up and starts screaming at Carol Anne to come towards these off-road lights. They’re just that powerful, and she’s still living in the past—that poor poor woman.

Nifty Catch-It Carpet Floor MatsYour son may not be able to catch a fly ball to save his life, but it’s nice to know you have a set of carpet floor mats from Nifty that can catch whatever falls from your mouth.

Access TonnoSport Tonneau CoverIs it a coincidence that these soft roll up tonneau covers from Access give you easy access to your truck bed? We think not.

Kurgo Cargo CapeTry not to get your hopes up. Kurgo isn’t making superhero-themed car costumes just yet. They’re still busy building the best dog beds & cargo liners in town. Once they conquer the pet travel market, though, costumes could be right around the corner.


Kurgo Backseat Pet BarrierThese pet barriers from Kurgo keep the peace between hairy, slobbering passengers and their pets.


Gorilla SafetyWeb Cargo NetIf King-Kong drove a pickup truck, he’d be using one of these cargo nets & tie-downs from Gorilla Net to secure his banana, bamboo and starlet smorgasbord.

Coverking Neoprene Seat CoversNo one expects his or her colostomy bag to burst while merging onto the freeway, but you want to be prepared for that eventuality. These waterproof Coverking neoprene seat covers are an excellent line of defense against bodily fluids.

Banks Ottomind ProgrammerCashin’ in on some out-of-this-world power is a hop, skip and an OBDII port away. These deluxe power programmers & performance tuners from the bad boys at Banks unlock ferocious horsepower and torque, yet take mere minutes to install.