Tag Archives: Winch

I’ve Got a Brand New Pair of Accessories, You’ve Got a Brand New Key

It may not be a new pony, but a new accessory announcement is better than a new disease (except maybe that Phenomenon disease that lets you learn Portuguese overnight).

Superwinch EPi 9.0S WinchThis winch is a full 33 lbs lighter than the Superwinch EPi 9.0—if you ask me, that kind of weight control isn’t from a fast metabolism but the occasional hook down the hawse fairlead, if you know what I mean. *Wink.

Rampage Trailblade Wiper BladesYou’d have to be the prince of Zamunda to get a more thorough wipe than what these wiper blades from Rampage deliver.

We also added two (2!) new departments chock-full of great gear.  Sport logo gear is the new hot spot to find… well…logo sports gear.  There’s also a handy new tools and tool storage department for all your wrenching needs. The tool selection is a little sparse right now, but we should have some great additions in the next few months. Keep your eyes peeled.

11 New Rounds in the AutoAnything Glock

Arigato, otearai

On a side note, the phone fairy stopped by AutoAnything’s office last night and left us all Avaya treats. What I can’t get over, though, is how similar the ringer sounds to the jingle the toilets at Tokyo’s Narita Airport play after you’ve made an honorable deposit. Skeevey.

Oh yeah, we also added some new accessories to our digital shelves. Dig these:

Superwinch S3000 WinchWhen not winching crime, Superwinch dons the mild-mannered affect of a hack journalist.

Superwinch S4000 WinchThis Superwinch winch is stronger than the S3000, but also more sensitive to pictures of starving children…a winch that’s not afraid to cry.

Superwinch LP8500 WinchWith 8,500 lbs of line pull, the only thing this 8000 lb winch can’t do is replace your beloved manga body pillow, Kumiko.

Superwinch EP 9.0 WinchThis Superwinch winch boasts 9,000 lbs of line pull, perfect for recovering from a mud hole, but you’ll need a patient shrink to recover from the news that Nazareth isn’t including your city on their 2010 Love Still Hurts tour.

Superwinch EPi 9.0 WinchThe EP 9.0 winch has 100′ of wire rope. The EPi 9.0 has 125′. Do the math—you can go 25% more bananas on your next Jeep jamboree with these winches.

Superwinch EP 12.5 Winch—The perfect winch for rescuing your rig or pulling out the load-bearing supports on that granny flat your neighbor built too close to your property line. Damn you, McGillicuddy!

Superwinch EP 16.5 Winch—For perspective, this brawny winch has enough backbone to reel in almost 23 pairs of McGwire twins simultaneously.

Superwinch S5000 Winch—Compared to its bigger brethren, this winch may seem like a Webster among Reruns, but it kicks like Mister Ed.

Kurgo Combo PackageKurgo Dog On the Go survival kit contents check. In it you’ll find: one bright orange and black Quantum Leash, one Tru-Fit Smart Harness with padded chest plate, one nylon webbed Wander Collar…shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Dallas with all that stuff.

Kurgo Co-Pilot Dog Seat CoverDog may be your co-pilot, but it’s not going to stop her frothy lather of slobber from raining down all over your seat. These seat covers for dogs from Kurgo can help protect you from resenting your dog vs. cat decision.

Softride Ski Rack Attachment—It converts your Softride bike rack into a ski & snowboard rack when you want to convince your coworkers that you do more on the weekends than simply curl up fetal and weep.

If You Are In A Pinch, Use A Winch

Living in New Jersey, I’ve grown accustomed to bad attitudes. That’s why it always surprises me when someone helps you out. Last weekend I was out with a few buddies ripping through the woods on our quads and I cruised into marsh. Eventually, a guy and his son stopped to help me. His big utility ATV had a winch on it, which pulled me right out. I guess Jersey might home a few decent people.

I have lived in the wonderful state of New Jersey for twenty two glorious years. This meant spending summers at the shore, drinking cawfee, and considering Italian food its own food group. This armpit of a state is the home of bad hair cuts and even worse accents. I can usually stomach the stereotypical flaws of the state, but I can’t stand the attitude. It’s like every kid growing up here had a poster of Tony Soprano on his wall instead of Superman or Batman. While I was busy jumping from trees with a cape around my neck, they were greasing down their scalps with enough hair gel to make John Travolta jealous.

Certain parts of Jersey don’t seem like reality. My high school parking lot looked more like a BMW dealership than a public school. You would think it was standard issue for the DMV to hand out sets of keys after passing a driver’s test. I guess our state needed something to replace iroqs. It probably doesn’t help the state’s general attitude if everyone is driving around in a BMW with a gold chair hanging from their neck and a ring hugging their pinky. Anyway, after years of hearing such comments from wise guys like “What are you looking at?” I started to think that the state was doomed. Maybe our country would be better if it cut off that little state and sent it floating off across the Atlantic for Europe to deal with.

I used to think that way until this past weekend. I was out with a few friends tearing through the woods on our quads, having a blast. It had rained the day before, which made the ground perfect for doing doughnuts and drifting turns. I started to cruise to a new part of the woods, but it was actually a marsh. Unfortunately, I was going pretty fast so my speed carried me halfway across the bog. I tried revving my engine, spinning my wheels, but not moving an inch. My quad is meant for racing, not mud so it only has two-wheel drive. My friends were all over in another part of the woods, leaving me stranded, covered in mud and frustrated.

Just when I was about to give up and trudge back through the woods to find my friends an older man on a big utility ATV passed by. “Oh great, now I have to deal with this guy giving me a hard time,” I thought. But he pulled up, took off his helmet and asked if I needed a hand. Did my ears deceive me? A Jersian asking to help? Well of course I did. He had a winch system hooked up to the front of his bike. This guy and his son tossed me the cable, which I hooked to my frame, and he pulled me right out. When I finally made it back to my friends, they didn’t even know I was gone.


We may not be the best, biggest, or cleanest state, but you can get one amazing slice of pizza. And if you look hard enough, in the deepest woods apparently, you may find some decent people. I was so thankful that the guy came along and that he had a winch. I think he said it was called a Warn winch or a Ramsey winch.