Were this a Haruki Murakami novel, I’d be an alienated 15-year-old Tokyoite with a game leg, and you’d be an out-of-work 30-something legal assistant with a missing cat and a missing wife. Too bad it’s just a blog post announcing the release of some new automotive accessories. Don’t get me wrong—these are slick accessories from top brands like Pewag, Smittybilt and Metro. Still, you won’t find any men at the bottom of wells, or young women mysteriously disappearing from Greek islands, or Johnny Walker building a destructive flute from the souls of cats, or scraggly old men dressed like sheep, or even older men who make leeches rain from the sky…none of the usual Murakami fare is here. But, we’ve still got some worthwhile tidbits for you to snack on.
Pewag Twist Link Tire Chains—Originally, Pewag Chain called these the Popeye The Hitchhiker Link Tire Chains until they finally caved in to Chubby Checker’s demands for the rights to brand them The Twist: 3 new jean jackets and some eye cream.
Smittybilt GEAR Tailgate Covers—Here’s a little known fact: Jeep guys love purses. This custom-fitted gear organizer from Smittybilt comes with 2 purses, and its integrated MOLLE/PALS system lets you add more purses later, sorta like adding little sterling silver teacup charms to your bracelet, which Jeep guys also love.
Smittybilt GEAR Overhead Consoles—It may look like a stretcher from the hit TV series M*A*S*H, and Toledo’s own Jamie Farr might be cold-calling Smittybilt for a job as the accessory’s official spokesman, but it’s really just a handy way to dangle gear from your Jeep Wrangler’s roll cage.
Metro Vac N Blo Pro—And the Oscar for Best New Product in a Supporting Role goes to…Metro Vac N’ Blo Pro Car Vacuum! <Boisterous applause as the Vac N’ Blow sucks its way up to the podium> Oh thank you! I’d like to thank the Academy, Harvey and Bob Weinstein, my parents and everyone else who made me the car vacuum that I am today—you know who you are.