Tag Archives: fender flares

For Your Consideration: 19 Deluxe New Accessories at AutoAnything

Mother, do you wanna bang heads with me

According to my mother, the following 19 new product blurbs are on par with the comedic stylings of Mr. Red Skelton. Also, I’m not eating enough. And, I owe her some grandchildren already.

Clingo Universal Hands-free Mobile Device MountIn Klingon, the Clingo sales literature reads, “baQa’ ghuy’cha’ Qovpatlh vatlh Clingo jIH nuqneH petaQ taHqeq!” Roughly translated, it means, “From the eye sockets of our enemies springs forth these fearful Clingo mobile electronics holders with their dreaded, sticky green pad that grips phones, MP3 players and daggers without leaving behind a residue.”

Clingo Universal Hands-free Mobile Device Mount

Thule Slipstream Kayak RackSeven out of eight members of Slipknot agree on these two points: 1) this Thule kayak rack makes single-handed kayak loading a cinch, and 2) M.A.C’s Haute & Naughty mascara won’t run when you’re in a tour bus toilet weeping about being in Slipknot.

Thule Slipstream Kayak Rack

KONI Special D Red ShocksYeah, it’s cold in the D, but these KONI Special D Red Shocks are sure to warm you and your shorties right up.

KONI Special D Red Shocks

KONI Classic Red ShocksIn 1985, KONI changed the formula of their shocks, calling them “KONI New Red Shocks.” Immediate consumer backlash demanded a return to the original formula, thus “KONI Classic Red Shocks.”

KONI Classic Red Shocks

KONI STR.T Orange ShocksHieronymus Bosch has the Oranges triptych, REM has Orange Crush, and KONI suspension systems has Orange shocks, now with extra STR.T-ness.

KONI STR.T Orange Shocks

BedRug VanRug Cargo MatBecause lying down your area rug with crème-colored fringe definitely doesn’t make your van look chic, carpet your workhorse with one of these durable cargo & trunk liners from BedRug.

BedRug VanRug Cargo Mat

BedRug VanTred Cargo LinerSick and tired of your stuff slippin’ and slidin’ around your van’s cargo area? You could either give up your dreams of becoming an internet sensation by posting your homemade hooning videos, or you could turn to BedRug and score one of their custom-sized all-weather cargo liners.

BedRug VanTred Cargo Liner

Covercraft Gust Guard—In case of a hurricane, batten down your home, fill your bathtub with water and secure all car covers with this handy car cover accessory from Covercraft.

Covercraft Gust Guard

Premium Licensed Hitch Covers by PilotStudies show that if you add the word “premium” to a product title, it’llsell faster than Sproles returning a kickoff. (Look, I’m not exactly sure what a “Sproles” is because someone else wrote that line, and I’m too hopped up on Juan Valdez’s secret sauce to write something original about these hitch covers from Pilot.)

Premium Licensed Hitch Covers by Pilot

College Helmet Hitch Covers by PilotIt’s a twofold hitch cover: protection for your head and your hitch.

College Helmet Hitch Covers by Pilot

College Logo Hitch Covers by PilotBecause some cities actually have college teams worth cheering for, Pilot developed a bruiser line of covers for trailer hitches with officially licensed collegiate logos.

College Logo Hitch Covers by Pilot

Cool Cap Heat Reflective Car CoverFinally, a way to block those invasive mind-control transmissions from the government and/or the aliens. Plus, these car sun shades from Cool Cap drop your interior temperatures by up to 100 degrees.

Cool Cap Heat Reflective Car Cover

InstaJack 12V Automatic Car JackGetting a flat tire might be more enjoyable if you had Elvis Costello standing behind you playing Pump it Up. But, that cat’s busy. So, hum that track and use one of these ingenious tire-changing tools from InstaJack.

InstaJack 12V Automatic Car Jack

InstaWrench 12V Automatic Impact WrenchToday’s world is all about instant gratification. Scratch your “I want it now” itch with this 12V impact wrench from InstaJack that’s sure to pop stubborn lug nuts off lickety-split.

InstaWrench 12V Automatic Impact Wrench

InstaJack and InstaWrench Combo KitIt Takes Two, Two is Better Than One, One is the Loneliest Number—you know the songs. Now, put their message to good use and get both the InstaJack and InstaWrench together.

InstaJack and InstaWrench Combo Kit

Rugged Ridge Interior Trim & Dash KitsBecause some Jeeps like to feel strong, rugged and pretty all at the same time, dress your dune surfer with one of these deluxe dash kits from Rugged Ridge. They come custom configured with all the pieces you need to transform your barren cockpit into a harem on wheels.

Rugged Ridge Interior Trim & Dash Kits

Rugged Ridge Off Road Fender FlaresJust because these off-road fender flares from Rugged Ridge are specially made for trail rats doesn’t mean you need to start taking fire roads and bike trails to Grandma’s house…but, we won’t judge you for it.

Rugged Ridge Off Road Fender Flares

Rugged Ridge Flat Style Fender FlaresIn the past, the word “flat” has had negative connotations—flat soda, flat hair, flat tires. Rugged Ridge is turning “flat” around, though, with these pancake-esque fender flares.

Rugged Ridge Flat Style Fender Flares

RBP RX-2 Side StepsYou don’t have to boogie down in a honky-tonk to enjoy these RX-2 Steps from RBP. You just need a boss belt buckle, a steely stare and the will to upgrade with wheel-to-wheel nerf bars.

RBP RX-2 Side Steps

More Rugged Ridge Jeep Gear, Escort SRX Laser Detector & Garage Storage Systems! – An AutoAnything Weekly Update

Lifted Jeep Rock Crawling

How’s the weather where you are?  It seem like it’s been doing nothing but raining jeep accessories here, but this week we’ve also had some sporadic products drop in on us; caliper covers, laser jammers, and garage storage systems.

4 Pieces of Flare No Truck Can Do Without

There exists a virtual cornucopia of accessories that one can add to their rig; but which ones are truly essential? The following article delves deep into the psyche of one truck nut who’s determined to show his flair every chance he gets.

More flair Jimmy, more flair. This exact phrase emanates from my stupid manager’s pie hole every morning. You see, he’s the manager of the restaurant where I wait tables. You may have heard of it; Jolly’s Cantina. Anyway, Jolly’s is one of those restaurants that they fill with kitsch in an attempt to manufacture some “atmosphere.” And, as a Jolly’s employee, it’s my job to fill my uniform with flair and act as jolly as possible.

The job wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for my boss, Miles. He’s one of those restaurant managers who take his role very seriously. You know; one of those super skinny guys with a tie and a zit-pocked face who runs around so fast you’d swear he eats jet fuel for breakfast. Well, Miles and I don’t quite see eye to eye on the Jolly’s uniform requirements. I don the bare minimum that the rules stipulate, but Miles sees my efforts as purely mediocre. That’s why every morning he bombards me with the flair.

When I’m not waiting tables, I out cruisin in my 2002 Dodge Ram with a Cummins diesel. This baby sits sky high on a 12” lift kit and 44” monster mudders. I’ve got an AEM intake, Edge injectors, a Superchips Flash Paq and an MBRP 5” exhaust. Needless to say, the old Dodge is one bad-ass beast of a rig.

The other night, driving home after a mind-numbing shift with Miles on my back, I got pulled over by the local cop. He’s a mean one, the kind of cop that’d give your grandma a ticket for being too old. I couldn’t believe it, but old Roscoe pulled me over for my tires. He said they were sticking out too far from under the wheel wells. When I asked Barney Miller what I was supposed to do about it, he said first pay the ticket, then get some fender flares. All I could hear was; more flair Jimmy, more flair.

When I calmed down, I realized I could use these fender flares to help solve my flair problem with Miles. If that creep wanted more flair, he was gonna get it—in a big way. My plan was to simply install the flares and then show Miles what I’d done. The next time he asks for more flair, I’ll just direct his attention to my truck. “There ya go Miles, all the flare/flair you can handle.

2 nights later I called in sick and had my shift covered by my buddy, Juan. During his break, Juan called to tell me that Miles was fuming mad and cursing my name to anyone who’d listen. He was calling me a goldbrick and a champion for mediocrity. This got me so mad that I hopped into my truck and sped down to Jolly’s to have it out with Miles.

When I spied Miles smoking a cigarette out behind Jolly’s my temper just flared. Without thinking, I mashed the throttle on that old Cummins and in a billow of black smoke I launched the Dodge right over Miles’ Merkur XR4Ti—monster truck style. Those big mudders were churning up glass and metal, throwing debris all over Jolly’s back lot. The best part wasn’t the stupid look on Miles’ face, but the way my new fender flares kept the flying debris from scratching my rig!

In the end, I lost my job, but I have a new one down at the quarry. The hours and pay are great, and I don’t have to deal with Miles anymore. And, the only flair I have to contend with is the cool set of fender flares that are still doing a great job of protecting my truck.

Whether you have to add flair to your uniform or add Fender Flares to your truck, the internet is a great resource for both. As far as the truck flares, I went with a set of EGR Fender Flares.