Are you there, Flying Spaghetti Monster? It’s me, New Accessories.


There comes a time in every new accessory’s life when it blossoms from Not on AutoAnything to on AutoAnything. It might be a little scary at first for the new accessory. It suddenly has words where there weren’t words before. Its itty-bitty schematic images have ballooned into full-sized heroes. And, it starts daydreaming about what it would be like being sold to a dapper gent in Tallahassee. This crop of 11 accessories went through the change, and they’re all ready for action.

Hella Optilux 1100 Series Fog LightsWhen the robot apocalypse goes down, don’t get caught with these WALL-E-esque peepers bolted to your bumper. Your merciless new overlords won’t take too kindly to your use of robotic eyeballs for fog lights.

Hella Optilux 2550 Angel Eye Driving LightsYou can slip into a set of these haloed Hella driving lights, but only the most near-sighted Bavarians are going to mistake your Ford Probe for a 5-Series.

Hella Optilux 1502 Driving LightsIf these blue and chrome automotive lights had red adjustment bolts, G. Gordon Liddy would feel compelled to salute them before heading out on his nightly hippie-skull-crackin’ regimen.

Hella Optilux 1372 Driving LightsOh, you’ve got green eyes. Oh, you’ve got blue eyes. Oh, you’ve got graaaaaaaaay…no, wait. You’ve got blue eyes, you Hella automotive lights.

Hella Optilux 962 Driving LightsThey might look like some Star Trek alien’s buggy eyes, but that’s the driving light look kids are after these days. Get hip or get hit.

Hella Optilux 1900 Single Driving LightSo these Single lights from Hella have a little extra padding around their mounting brackets and some spare change in the back pocket. So what? They’ve got an amazing personality, a beautiful mind and an old soul.

Hella Optilux 1900 Driving Light KitHeadlights and high beams alone aren’t going to get the message across when you’re trying to warn the driver in front of you that there’s an axe-wielding maniac in her back seat. Flash her in the face with these powerful off-road lights.

Hella Optilux 4″ HID Driving LightDon’t get spooked if Zelda Rubenstein shows up and starts screaming at Carol Anne to come towards these off-road lights. They’re just that powerful, and she’s still living in the past—that poor poor woman.

Nifty Catch-It Carpet Floor MatsYour son may not be able to catch a fly ball to save his life, but it’s nice to know you have a set of carpet floor mats from Nifty that can catch whatever falls from your mouth.

Access TonnoSport Tonneau CoverIs it a coincidence that these soft roll up tonneau covers from Access give you easy access to your truck bed? We think not.

Kurgo Cargo CapeTry not to get your hopes up. Kurgo isn’t making superhero-themed car costumes just yet. They’re still busy building the best dog beds & cargo liners in town. Once they conquer the pet travel market, though, costumes could be right around the corner.


Kurgo Backseat Pet BarrierThese pet barriers from Kurgo keep the peace between hairy, slobbering passengers and their pets.


Gorilla SafetyWeb Cargo NetIf King-Kong drove a pickup truck, he’d be using one of these cargo nets & tie-downs from Gorilla Net to secure his banana, bamboo and starlet smorgasbord.

Coverking Neoprene Seat CoversNo one expects his or her colostomy bag to burst while merging onto the freeway, but you want to be prepared for that eventuality. These waterproof Coverking neoprene seat covers are an excellent line of defense against bodily fluids.

Banks Ottomind ProgrammerCashin’ in on some out-of-this-world power is a hop, skip and an OBDII port away. These deluxe power programmers & performance tuners from the bad boys at Banks unlock ferocious horsepower and torque, yet take mere minutes to install.

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