True—driving and dinning go together like Chumbawamba and the socially awkward. But that doesn’t mean that all foods are suited for snacking behind the wheel. Before you order another to-go cup of wonton soup for your drive down the California coast, check out this list of the five worst foods to eat in your car.
#5 Ice Cream Cones
I know, I know. It’s damn near impossible not to order up a soft-serve when you’re going through the McD’s drive-thru, but stay your hand. That mountain of non-dairy-based deliciousness won’t hold its shape for long. Two minutes is all it takes before it starts oozing like a lanced canker sore, and then you’re stuck having to slurp madly just to keep up with the sticky vanilla stream that’s raining down on your freshly dry cleaned suit. So much for that interview.
Blasting Menudo’s Chiquitita on your tape deck is not necessarily a bad idea. Spooning up mouthfuls of tripe and hominy soup while motoring down the Henry Hudson Parkway is fundamentally an a priori bad idea. One hard stop, big pothole or agro bicycle messenger cutting you off is all it takes to turn a questionably scrumptious meal into a scolding missile. Better pull over before you pull back the lid on your next steamy cup-o-guts.
Burritos are in a special class of hazardous driving fare because their danger is unpredictable. If the person who made your burrito used a fresh tortilla and tucked it all together nice and tight, then you might be in the clear. But, if the guy in the kitchen was feeling disgruntled and neglected to batten down the burrito’s hatches, then you’re in for a lap full of carne asada and hot sauce.
At a party of history professors, fondue is a kitschy appetizer. On the dash of your Grand Am, fondue is a molten cauldron of skin-searing goo. The Swiss may be expert watch makers and allegiance avoiders, but they have a thing or two to learn about car-ready cuisine.
#1 Chili Cheeseburgers
Unless you’re heading to a Halloween party dressed as a guy who threw back a few shots of milk of magnesia but couldn’t make it to the toilet in time, avoid the chili cheeseburger. Yes, they’re delicious. Yes, they’re readily available from drive-thrus everywhere. Yes, they’ll quench your appetite. But, the damage to your upholstery and your reputation far exceeds the momentary benefits.
Have your own list of foods to avoid or maybe a highway eating horror story? We wanna hear about it. Post your message in the comments below.